There Are Reasons Why
by DysfunctionalPrincess
Summary: Crackfic! Naruto and the gang - mostly Sasuke - get stuck in some pretty strange situations. Set after the series, with Sasuke back. No slash, T for safety.


Yes, There Are Reasons Why Boys Shouldn't Go Into The Girl's Restroom

XXX

Today was Monday. A normal morning; the sun definitely wasn't up yet, but missions can't tell time. Naruto was getting dressed in his usual orange-and-black jumpsuit and chugging down a quart of milk to be ready for the day. It was the first mission as Team Seven again for four years, after all.

He met Sakura solemnly halfway down the street, and they walked side by side up to the Hokage's castle. Kakashi was already there (amazingly), rereading IchaIcha Tactics, for at least the fifth time. Sasuke...well Sasuke was there too. It was months, but he had the same eyes as when he'd entered the hospital. Dull, empty, gray. It was hard to look at him right now.

"Team Seven, I'm sending you on an urgent A-rank mission. There's been word of a Mizugakure spy in the area who's been setting houses and such on fire. We need you four to take him out quickly and quietly; his capture cannot be known to Mizugakure at any costs. Get going!" Tsunade was starting to let herself go a little, wrinkles becoming more pronounced. Still, she looked like a goddess.

"Hai, master!" Sakura responded for her less-than-excited team. Normally Naruto would be jumping up and down for a mission like this, but today he was deadly silent and attentive, sharp like a blade.

XXX

Two hours later, the man was captured, the sun was peaking up and the team of four scattered to their homes, exhausted. Kakashi was the exception, as he never got tired from any less than an ANBU-level mission. Sakura went to take a well-deserved shower. Naruto went for Ichiraku ramen, and was doing his best to invite Sasuke.

"Come on, it'll be fun! Their ramen's the best, y'know!" Even from across the street, Kakashi could tell there wasn't the emphasis in his voice like when he invited Sakura. It was spoken coaxingly, gently, sadly.

"I don't have time, Naruto. I need to train." Kakashi winced as he yet again heard the broken, breathy voice. After the death of Itachi, Sasuke couldn't forgive himself. It didn't matter that Naruto convinced his best friend to protect Konoha like Itachi tried to, Sasuke still was lost in his own darkness.

Naruto sighed. "Alright. You owe me tomorrow then." _Don't push yourself too hard, Sasuke_, Naruto prayed.

"Hmph," was the only reply.

XXXTheNextDayXXX

"Hey, Ino-pig! Wanna go shopping? I bet I can find a prettier outfit than you!" One of the few things in life that Sakura loved as much as Sasuke was baiting Ino.

"Yeah, right. I just got 50grand yen from this last mission we did. Even if you manage _somehow_ to find a better outfit, you won't be able to pay for the accessories. _I_ on the other hand, _will_ be able to, Billboard-brow!" One of the few things in life that Ino loved as much as Sasuke was baiting Sakura.

XXX

"Hey, Sasuke! You owe me today for declining Ichiraku! Let's go to the mall!" Naruto jumped up by Sasuke's window to bother his friend, full of energy.

"Baka. I don't have time for-"

"Yes you do! You are coming with me!" More than just spending time with Sasuke, Naruto was concerned for the welfare of the emo; he'd been training the entire day before and was full of bruises.

It was surprisingly easy to drag Sasuke downtown - once he'd stopped complaining and figured out that it would just be better to go along with Naruto and not deal with the nagging anymore. "So what are we doing, not that I really want to know?"

"Hehehe!" Naruto giggled. "I heard some of the girls are going shopping today..."

Sasuke looked at him in slight admiration, a flicker of who he used to be. "Well. Uh, that's brave." Sakura would_ not_ like Naruto snooping on her, that's for sure. On the other hand, if Sasuke did, she probably would be in ecstasy, would would tick Naruto off. "Alright, lets go then."

XXX

"Sakura, you don't mind if I bring Hinata-chan along, do you? She looked lonely." Ino was all decked-out and ready to go; it would be tough for a model to compare.

"Sure, as long as you don't mind Tenten coming along." Sometimes great minds do think alike.

XXX

"Sasuke, Sasuke! Look at this! It's a new Giant Shuriken, model 3.5!" Everything seemed to excite Naruto, from manga to wallpaper designs...to shuriken. Sasuke was resigned. What a waste of time.

"Hey, let's go check out the clothes! I need a new outfit after all." Naruto was such a kid, never looked at something for more than a minute.

XXX

"Hinata-chan! You should try this on!" Tenten held up a cute, but slightly exposing blouse that made Hinata blush exponentially.

"Ano...that's..."

"Oh. My word. I am _so_ buying this." Ino grinned at her great fortune. Sasuke would drop dead when he saw her in _that_.

"Tenten, how about this?"

The four left to the mall's changing room - which was essentially a bathroom.

XXX

"Hmm, how would I look in blue and black? I'd look like Sasuke, dattebayo!" Naruto his own question. Sasuke ignored the idiot who went to try on his clothes, backing his way through the bathroom door.

"Hey, Naruto..!" Sasuke noted something rather important.

"Say, Sasuke, if I did a jutsu on myself and copied your hair, what would yo-"

Naruto was cut off by a chorus of shrieks and screams.

XXX

"This is so cute, Hinata-chan! You should wear it to the next clan meeting..." Ino smirked. Her father would flip.

"Ano...Kyaa!" Hinata threw her arms in front of her slightly-exposed chest. "Na-naruto-kun! What are you doing?"

The girls turned, reactions differing per capita. Tenten blushed, Sakura glared at Naruto, and Ino grinned. After all, Sasuke was there, too. Great chance.

"Ne, Sasuke-ku~n. How does this look?" She sidled up to him. Even he couldn't resist her at the moment...could he?

"Ino-san. Please leave us alone. Naruto, we have to leave." There was no reaction on his face.

"Hmm...fufufu...Naruto-kun, I didn't know you were into cross-dressing..." Interrupted a very familiar (very irritating!) voice.

"Hokage-sama! What are you doing here?"

XXX

Why. Why. _Why in hell_ did he have to back up into the _girl's bathroom?_ "I _do not_ like cross-dressing!" Naruto insisted, but Tsunade just laughed.

"Oh, really? Than I guess you're nothing but a _hentai_?*" The other girls picked up on the tension-relieving conversation and giggled.

"Oh, no~! Naruto! How could you! Are you turning into Jeriya-sensei?" Sakura teased, knowing much of the stories about her mentor's old teammate.

XXX

"Sasuke, help!" This was turning into a nightmare.

Sasuke was in a bit of a pinch as well. Ino had him pinned up against the wall, and Sakura was going to notice it pretty soon. Having those two fighting for him...well, if he got caught in the middle, he might seriously die!

XXX

"Hmm? Are my pretty little angels arguing in the bathroom?" Ero-sanin** of course had to peek. He'd been out shopping for his research after all...

"Naruto?"

"Ero-sanin! HELP ME!" Tsunade was attempting to force him into a miniskirt, which he apparently 'enjoyed'.

"Naruto!" Jeriya barreled through the door. There were times when one had to man up and save your fellow _hentai_.

"Sasuke...?" Jeriya was stunned for just a second.

XXX

Sasuke was in a very awkward situation. The girls decided it appropriate to fight over his 'sexy jacket' which they'd pulled off his arms, while at the same time they held onto him to not the other 'have him'. Both were words they'd used, no joking whatsoever (not that he ever joked).

Having two extremely powerful kunoichi hold onto you while fighting is painful, just in case you didn't know.

XXX

"Sasuke!" Naruto had been freed of torment, and raced to save his friend. "S..sakura-chan! Please let go!" He tugged at her arm, but was flung away without so much as a glance.

"Forgive me, little flowers!" Jeriya prayed, as he saved Sasuke. Good thing he did, because the end result had the girls indented into the bathroom walls, heads spinning. He picked up Sasuke runaway princess-style, motioned to Naruto and ran out.

XXX

"That was the scariest thing I've ever, _ever_ been through, fighting Pain included." Naruto breathed hard. Outracing the Hokage isn't the easiest thing to do.

"Naruto." Jeriya looked at his pupil right in the eyes. "There are reasons why boys shouldn't go into the girl's restroom."

XXX

**Hope you liked! It's kinda weird, I know, switching back and forth from serious to crack, but I want to have plot and lame humor in this. So it'll probably be the same kinda thing for a while...anyways! Read and review! (But just don't say it sucks without a reason behind it...) **

**Oh, and it **_**probably**_** won't be so ecchi, that just was to prove the point.**

XXX

*A hentai is basically a pervert.

**Ero-sanin is Jeriya's nickname. It basically means pervert great ninja...lol...


End file.
